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Tourniquet wrote:Also no humour thread can be done without the absolutly EPIC "do the demon primarchs still hang out" http://www.warseer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=115241 Linked to thread since its to long to paste
Tourniquet wrote:Also no humour thread can be done without the absolutly EPIC "do the demon primarchs still hang out" http://www.warseer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=115241 Linked to thread since its to long to paste
Tourniquet wrote:Also no humour thread can be done without the absolutly EPIC "do the demon primarchs still hang out" http://www.warseer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=115241 Linked to thread since its to long to paste
Hillarious ! Great Find there
red 2 posts and got bored
You missed out if you only read the first two posts ...the treasure is the posts from Lastie which are hellarious storylines on what it would be like if the Chaos Primarchs got together at a bar. Skattered throughout the thread are at least 7 of these short stories .
I will post a sample so that you know what I am talking about:
Lastie wrote:Cut to the interior of a warm pub on a backwater Daemonworld, where the average technology level is comparable to 12th century Europe, where soap is non existant and everyone still thinks the horse and cart is an awesome invention. Here we zoom in upon a table in corner, where several huge individuals dwarf the room and furniture as they chug back entire ale kegs and laugh with voices that shake the room.
Angron: "... and then I said to the Inquisitor 'Smite THIS!' and I cut his head off!" <bangs on table, causing small earthquake in a nearby country that kills thousands>
Fulgrim: "Just like the fifty thousand beforehand. Your capacity for imaginative decapitations must hold no bounds".
Angron: "... er ... why thank you".
Mortarion: "He's being sarcastic you simple-minded fool. You've wasted the last five decades with your endless talks on conquest".
Fulgrim: "Inelegant conquest, full of mindless slaughter - has no style at all".
Angron: "Well at least I'm doing something. What have you guys done for the last ten thousand years while Ezzie makes us all look bad with his Black Crusades?"
Perturabo: "Speaking of which, the last one sucked".
Magnus: "What did thou expect? It was the twelth sequel".
Lorgor: "They do tend to go downhill from Part 3 onwards ..."
Angron: "Like your books, what volume are we up to now?"
Lorgor: "Book 675,893,920,910".
Mortarion: "And the plot's still awful ..."
Lorgor: "They're religious teachings you pestilent philistine! As if you could compare those endless depressing poetry you write on your Planet of Smelly Emo's".
Mortarion: "No one understands me ..."
Magnus: "Looks like Konrad's postion as Fangirl Angst Fodder has been filled ..."
Fulgrim: "Has anyone may or may not have heard from Alpharious lately?"
Magnus: "He may or may not have sent me a warp-mail of update, I really can't say".
Angron: "He's as annoying as our loyalist brothers. Where the hell are most of them?"
Fulgrim: "I find it hard to believe the Imperium could misplace a Primarch ..."
Lorgar: "Well at least they're not doing anything to make us look bad".
Angron: "No, a first company captain's doing that fine by himself ..."
<reflective silence>
Mortarion: "We suck ..."
Fulgrim: "Thankyou Mr. Razor Blades to the Wrist. Magnus, want to say something to liven things up? Your patron God is the warp-spawned entity of Hope".
Magnus: "Well, with Apocalypse being released maybe we might get some attention, despite the latest Chaos Codex being devoted almost entirely to upstart newbies who wouldn't know their Daemonhost from their Chaos Spawn".
<reflective silence>
Angron: "Fat chance ... anyway, Lorgar it's your round".
I find this thread to now be full of awsome AND win... mainly because of the primarchs referal. Now that is a forum full of so much AWESOME AND WIN that your head will explode, although some of the chapters are full of mediocre and tie but regardless still funny as all hell.
early bird gets the worm
second mouse gets the cheese
ANYTHING POSTED AFTER 1AM MAY NOT MAKE ANY SENSE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/05/12 03:26:40
GreyFox555 wrote:Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.
Roll a D100
1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.
Horst wrote:This is how trolling happens. A few cheeky posts are made. Then they get more insulting. Eventually, we revert to our primal animal state, hurling feces at each other while shreeking with glee.
I'll use my real D% thank you very much! Not had much use since all the idiots in the area started playing 4e D&D
I rolled a 4
:( I get to clean up after Ogryn
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/05/12 15:12:53
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99 Woot I get to take a bullet for some important guy.
2000 points
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/downloadAttach/19113.page 500 points
1500 points "You don’t want to play Blood Angels to be different you play them because you finally realized that they go crazy and drink blood yet haven’t been killed off by the Inquisition. Proving that they are just bada**”
Suffused with the dying memories of Sanguinus, the warriors of the Death Company seek only one thing: death in battle fighting against the enemies of the Emperor.
"I drive a big car, cuz I'm a big star. I'll make a big rock-and-roll hit." "I am a big car, and I'm a strip bar. Some call it fake, I call it good-as-it-gets."
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
Horst wrote:This is how trolling happens. A few cheeky posts are made. Then they get more insulting. Eventually, we revert to our primal animal state, hurling feces at each other while shreeking with glee.
People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made.
People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made.
"fear me but fallow"
I did it! I pulled the pin!"
"Throw it you idiot!"
! Great Find there 
...the treasure is the posts from Lastie which are hellarious storylines on what it would be like if the Chaos Primarchs got together at a bar. Skattered throughout the thread are at least 7 of these short stories 
.
1500 (Work In Progress) 
2000 points
500 points
1500 points "You don’t want to play Blood Angels to be different you play them because you finally realized that they go crazy and drink blood yet haven’t been killed off by the Inquisition. Proving that they are just bada**” 
5000+
7000+