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Fortunately, Ork feces are poisonous to everyone but the Orks, so now Max was free to go

(I think this is my second "Fortunate" post in this thread - due to the fact that first i posted just after Metallifan who already was on "Unfortunately")

Poor Shim! (and that was two unfotunatlies in a row...)

Not anymore...explained above why

(Advanced lifeform scanners)

Back on Topic, Max now found himself in sole command of one of the most massive bits of Dakka in the known universe.

He was unable to read the instruction manual!

Fortunately two droids -- they weren't the ones everyone was looking for -- turned up and offered to help Max if he would carry a chup to some desert planet for them.

Unfortunately, while approaching said planet, Max accidently pressed a large red button marked 'fire (multi?)lasors' leaving a small orange cloud where the planet used to be...

"Dam it. I was looking forwards to getting a nice Tattoo," thought Max.

Fortunately the expanding cloud of hot gas blew a hole right through the Gluumi Nebula, and he was able to chart a course for home.

Unfortunately, his course for home led him straight into the middle of the Maze of Tzeentch, from where no mortal has ever escaped

*grimdark music mixed with Pink Panther tunes*

Fortunately, the maze was made of mirrors. Max, the Ogryn-turned-Ork, was not exactly the most graceful of lifeforms, and he made his own path through the maze.

Unfortunately The Mirrors got thicker and thicker as he got closer to the edge boxing him in.

Fortunately, Max was so hideously disfigured from the entire ordeal up to this point, that the final mirror cracked and shattered, allowing him to escape.

Unfortunately that caused seven years of bad luck!

Seven years later Max, a Tau Ethereal and a Carnifex walked into a pub on Ultramar. They were tired and thirsty.

Fortunately, the bartender was not an Ultramarines' plot character, and thus, Max and company stuffed his head up his own arse with relative ease.

Unfortunately, the rest of the bar's patrons didn't appreciate the bartender being roughed up, and attacked our heros with broken bottles, chairs, and a lascannon.

Fortunately the lascannon carrier was a panda. Having already finished his scampi in a basket, he fired once and walked out.

As the shot missed, Max and gang were able to pacify everyone by declaring open bar. The Ethereal opened a tab on his Iridium Visa card.

Kilkrazy wrote:Fortunately the lascannon carrier was a panda. Having already finished his scampi in a basket, he fired once and walked out.

As the shot missed, Max and gang were able to pacify everyone by declaring open bar. The Ethereal opened a tab on his Iridium Visa card.

Unfortunately, the Ethereal didn't realize how much booze an Ork and a Fex' could put down combined, and his tab rapidly shot upwards of 35,000 Fishkibbles, or whatever Tau currency is.

Fortunately, during Max's 7 years of bad luck he had gotten a mutation that allowed him to synthesize cheap beer from his sweat, so the gang could just wait a few days and make all their money back.

Unfortunately, at that very moment a newcomer stomped into the bar. He was huge, all metal, with a gigantic klaw on one arm, and a spinning buzz-saw on the other. It picked up Max by a loop in his trousers and held him up to its angry, glowing red eyes, and said "Good to see you after seven years. Who's the sidekick now?"

The voice sounded familiar... but Max didn't have time to consider this as the giant metal creature stuffed him into a sack, and proceeded to ransack the bar.

Fortunately, while Shim (I assume that's who it is) was busy ransacking, Max ate his way out of the sack and ran for the door.

Unfortunately for Max, it doesn't take long for a monster like Shim to destroy a bar and all its patrons.

Fortunately, Max could relate to Shim being peeved. Max was bigger, greener, and had made off with all the Dakka the last time they were together- the three things that measure an Ork's place in the world were all in Max's favor.

So Max didn't take it personally when Shim clanked over and ripped his arm out of its socket.

Luckily, Orkses being fungus, Max was able to regenerate his arm with a special diet of MOAR DAKKA

Unfortunately, Max realized he couldn't carry all his Dakka at once.

(ahem... you're on unfortunately )

Fortunately people overlooked RiTides comment and continued ^.^
Jk Jk
No hostile. no hostile.

Unfortunately, the previous "Fortunately" had nothing to do with Max, and he was still stuck on how he could bring all his Dakka to battle at one time.

Fortunately, tin-man Shim lumbered over, picked up all Max's extra Dakka, and called out "Guess this makes us even!" over his shoulder as he walked out of the bar.

Max now had only as much Dakka as he could carry. But he was left with a choice... let Shim wander off into the sunset and out of the thread for a second time (with most of his Dakka!?!1?), or give chase?

Unfortunately for Shim, An Ork that just got his Dakka stolen is often more dangerous than a whole WAAAGH!, and Max set out in fast pursuit of the dastardly Grot!

Unfortunately Ork instinct Kicked in and overcame him with a lust for WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!

Commissar NIkev wrote:Fortunately Ork instinct Kicked in and overcame him with a lust for WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!, Which saw Max's Dakka retrieved, and Shim pulled from the Kan and punted into Orbit

Fix'd

metallifan wrote:

Commissar NIkev wrote:Fortunately Ork instinct Kicked in and overcame him with a lust for WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!, Which saw Max's Dakka retrieved, and Shim pulled from the Kan and punted into Orbit

Fix'd

Rofl! Thanks Comrade