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I can't wait until sonofruss discovers that 'hale' is actually spelt 'hail'

Terrapin Pasties FTW!

EDIT: apparently this is my 666th post! Spookeh!

It is all semantics pancake that is how you spell pancake not P4NC4K3.
I mean what I type hale as in well not dead All hale turtle pie
It is not shriek it is shrike * shakes his fist at the youngster*
To war brothers Fight for pie and our true leader shrike

aunshova wrote:Your words mean nothing mortals. The almighty Omni-dessert has blessed me with a vision.

Only under unity will the Pie prosper. You fools are nothing but lapdogs for a false pretender to the Pie. Your "leader" has abandoned you and left you to rot while he fiddles around with his hobbies.

No more will the men die under the false tether strings of Shrike. No more will they sacrifice themselves for an uncertain future. These "saints" cannot offer these men the will they need to fight on. Everyday, more and more flock to my banner. Countless thousands pledge their allegiance to me and the Great Pie in the Sky. And as of now, I control one third of the Pie-us Protectorate Legions ready to cast down these pretenders to the Pie.

Prepare yourselves fools. My armies march upon your capitals knowing total and complete victory will be accomplished under my guidance. Your phony bastions will burn in the night sky and your corpses shall adorn the street lamps for all to see. Join me or Die.

GO FORWARD MY BROTHERS! BRING THESE LIARS TO THEIR SALVATION IN DEATH! GRANT THEM A HERETICS BENEDICTION!









FOR THE PIE AND IT'S MOST PIE-US

aunshova wrote:I now reject my title as priest as was given to me by the false Pie-Master, Shrike.

Judgment has come for you fools.

Fixed, It's SHRIKE, and as already discussed, Nurgle enjoys our donations of pie, and thus has no interest in war with us. You'd better watch what you say, or the guardians may have to take action, and I am in no position to stop them...

You cannot stop what has already been set in motion.

While you squabble amongst yourselves, I have already secured The Temple of Pecans and the Caramel Citadel.

Each passing moment we march closer to total victory and your doom.

We shall not suffer the heretic to take any more ground, we must hold until reinforcements are available. If we must fall in this battle then know that we did so in the name of the Omni-Dessert so that others may live and savior its goodness in peace. To the last man brothers!

As a former arch-heretic of turtle pie, this schism pleases me greatly.

chaplaingrabthar wrote:As a former arch-heretic of turtle pie, this schism pleases me greatly.

This sentence disturbs me in more ways than one...

aunshova wrote:The Temple of Pecans and the Caramel Citadel.

Not only lost, but truly without a map !

If you're planning to do battle with your former brothers, kid, you're heading the wrong way !

To those misguided fools who choose to follow "Anchovy", I urge you to reconsider.

His is truly a recipe for disaster. Resist the temptations of the false path down which he would lead you. Show the patience and fortitude of The Almighty Turtle, weather this storm within the protection of His Divine Shell whilst this fool wastes his efforts, then emerge and strike as one, with all the force and inevitability of The Mighty Beak itself.

Heed my words, loyal brothers. Show the resistance of The Almighty Shell, then bathe all who falter in the heat of the Immortal Pie at it's most Hot & Spicy !

Ahh, I remember the days when I was the arch-heretic (anyone remember Tortoise Pie?)

EDIT: Oh and sonofruss, who said I was trying to spell pancake? I was trying to spell P4NC4K3, and I succeeded, you fool! I SUCCEEDED!

EDIT MK II: If you're tired of all this war, then join me on the fence!

Reaper6 wrote:
Show the patience and fortitude of The Almighty Turtle, weather this storm within the protection of His Divine Shell whilst this fool wastes his efforts, then emerge and strike as one, with all the force and inevitability of The Mighty Beak itself.

Heed my words, loyal brothers. Show the resistance of The Almighty Shell, then bathe all who falter in the heat of the Immortal Pie at it's most Hot & Spicy !

Most holy Brother Librarian, my men and I shall hold the outer line while the others seek shelter with in, we shall seek to buy you as much time as necessary, unless the Omni-Dessert has other plans for us.

Where the hell is Shrike? I haven't seen him post in a while. Perhaps an enemy of the Turtle or the Pie has attempted to take our leader?

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Where the hell is Shrike? I haven't seen him post in a while. Perhaps an enemy of the Turtle or the Pie has attempted to take our leader?

Wait...Shrike is missing currently?

God Of Yams wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Where the hell is Shrike? I haven't seen him post in a while. Perhaps an enemy of the Turtle or the Pie has attempted to take our leader?

Wait...Shrike is missing currently?

he hasn't posted anythingin a few weeks.

Now you must surely see the light. Your beloved leader had left you all here to squander your talents.

The fools at the Minty Monastery were gracious enough to to hand over the coordinates to the Segmentum Molasses Relay. It took a little "persuasion" but they eventually saw the truth of my actions.

It's only a matter of time before I find the Orbital Cream Cannon, and when I do, nothing will stop me. So it has been written, so shall it be done.

My faith is my shell.

God Of Yams wrote:

chaplaingrabthar wrote:As a former arch-heretic of turtle pie, this schism pleases me greatly.

This sentence disturbs me in more ways than one...

Give in to your hatred...

aunshova wrote:Now you must surely see the light. Your beloved leader had left you all here to squander your talents.

The fools at the Minty Monastery were gracious enough to to hand over the coordinates to the Segmentum Molasses Relay. It took a little "persuasion" but they eventually saw the truth of my actions.

It's only a matter of time before I find the Orbital Cream Cannon, and when I do, nothing will stop me. So it has been written, so shall it be done.

My faith is my shell.

Chaplaingrabthar, I apologize, this disturbs me much more. I didn't know we had an Orbital Cream Cannon, and honestly, I could have gone without knowing that. Aunshova, please take the Cream Cannon, take it far, far, away...

God Of Yams wrote:

chaplaingrabthar wrote:As a former arch-heretic of turtle pie, this schism pleases me greatly.



This sentence disturbs me in more ways than one...



Give in to your hatred...

Fulfill your destiny!!!

BrotherStynier wrote:











We shall not suffer the heretic to take any more ground, we must hold until reinforcements are available. If we must fall in this battle then know that we did so in the name of the Omni-Dessert so that others may live and savior its goodness in peace. To the last man brothers!

"Sir! Look, its looks like a drop ship! YES! IT IS THE HAND OF THE EMPIRE! REINFORCEMENTS ARE HERE! ITS THE FIRST AND SIXTH COMPANYS!"























BURN THE HERETICS! DESTROY THE MUTANT! FOR ARES AND THE PIE!

(God, I cant leave for two weeks without a war starting can i)

Au contraire, once I find it, I'm going to aim it right at your home planet. Then you will feel the wrath of the righteous.

aunshova wrote:Au contraire, once I find it, I'm going to aim it right at your home planet. Then you will feel the wrath of the righteous.

You won't have to do much searching, I found the Orbital Cream Cannon for you...however I don't think I'll let you have it for now, as I don't feel like getting drenched with cream.

Anyway, here's your damn Cream Cannon:

The Great company of Ragnar blackmane incoming
















for the turtle and the pie

sonofruss wrote:The Great company of Ragnar blackmane incoming
















for the turtle and the pie

With all these armies that are flocking to our most glorious banner of Turtles and Pies lately, it would seem as though Aunshova and his pitiful gathering are seriously screwed

God Of Yams wrote:

sonofruss wrote:The Great company of Ragnar blackmane incoming
















for the turtle and the pie

With all these armies that are flocking to our most glorious banner of Turtles and Pies lately, it would seem as though Aunshova and his pitiful gathering are seriously screwed

Yes! Lets count them shall we?

That is just one of my 4 full companies of marines. There is my titan legion but we don't have titan smilies that is the closest we have.

Ah yes the Mummers Farce. Nothing but a trick to lure your attentions away from the real threat. While you fools were fiddling with the O.C.C. (like I would ever associate with something with a Cream Cannon) I was charging mah lazor on the other side of your planet.

Prepare yourselves fools, for your Judgment has come.

+::signals to crew::- FIRE!!!



Now do you see what your actions have done. Your entire faith brought low by incompetence. Can you feel the very air around you ignite. Your atmosphere is being set aflame with the burning powers of the Pie.


+::signals to crew::- MAINTAIN SALVO!!! ==:



How does it feel to have fallen so hard? The planet you once called home, now, completely eradicated of all life. No more chanting, no more praying, no more Pie.......no more pie?.........no.........what have I done!

DAMNATION! How was I so blind! How could I have been such a tool!
I......I have failed. I have failed everyone I once called brother. But the damned voices. I.....I thought it was a vision. A divination form the Pie.

I was weak, in my moment of glory, I was taken. I see now.
The health-food gods are a malevolent force. They are too strong to deny at the same time. I see now that it was the Celery Sticks, not the Pie that whispered such lies into my soul, thus damning me for eternity.

And.....and now my damnation awaits. My soul cast to the void in an eternal servitude to the powers of Health Foods.

Forgive me..... I will now sacrifice myself to close the rift the dying planet has created.

+::signals to crew::- Reroute towards that entity. Full speed.====::*



To all those who served under me, I am sorry. Go now and seek ye not forgiveness but repentance.

And with that I depart, to dwell eternally in....... The Pie of Terror

Ohh pretty, do they have Cable in there?

This aunshova has gone to war with my only worthy enemy. I can not permit that. I pledge the might of the turtle pi to crushing aunshova.











we fear not the pie terror for we are imortal we ar strong on the most holy of square root day

I expect to lose, but I can't let aunshov'o stand unassisted.

Here is the Cadre

And here's the silent army of the dusty fence!












EDIT: I love how far this thread has gotten from the poll it was born as!

*A few battered and defeated Marines emerge from a bunker carrying dead or dying Brothers and worshipers of the Almighty Turtle Pie, lead by an injured Stynier and look upon the dying world as reinforcements arrive*

Omni-dessert, what have we doneto deserve this fate?