This is the turtle pie blogg

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**Happygrunt**

aunshova wrote:Ah yes the Mummers Farce. Nothing but a trick to lure your attentions away from the real threat. While you fools were fiddling with the O.C.C. (like I would ever associate with something with a Cream Cannon) I was charging mah lazor on the other side of your planet.

Prepare yourselves fools, for your Judgment has come.

+::signals to crew::- FIRE!!!

Now do you see what your actions have done. Your entire faith brought low by incompetence. Can you feel the very air around you ignite. Your atmosphere is being set aflame with the burning powers of the Pie.

+::signals to crew::- MAINTAIN SALVO!!! ==:

How does it feel to have fallen so hard? The planet you once called home, now, completely eradicated of all life. No more chanting, no more praying, no more Pie.......no more pie?.........no.........what have I done!

DAMNATION! How was I so blind! How could I have been such a tool!
I......I have failed. I have failed everyone I once called brother. But the damned voices. I.....I thought it was a vision. A divination form the Pie.

I was weak, in my moment of glory, I was taken. I see now.
The health-food gods are a malevolent force. They are too strong to deny at the same time. I see now that it was the Celery Sticks, not the Pie that whispered such lies into my soul, thus damning me for eternity.

And.....and now my damnation awaits. My soul cast to the void in an eternal servitude to the powers of Health Foods.

Forgive me..... I will now sacrifice myself to close the rift the dying planet has created.

+::signals to crew::- Reroute towards that entity. Full speed.====::*

To all those who served under me, I am sorry. Go now and seek ye not forgiveness but repentance.

And with that I depart, to dwell eternally in....... The Pie of Terror

As Zealot of the Church, I pronounce that your crimes are irriversible, and you are doomed. However, I was once also controlled by the likes of chaos, and must give you a mission to repent, as it shall insure your lasting in non-chaos grip. You must find, and destroy, the Celery Sticks to prove you loyalty. And when you retrun, you will be stripped of your rank and must re-climb the ranks again. GO FORTH FOR THE PIE!

**sonofruss**

* looks around good thing he missed the moon base where the chapter fortress is. *
The armies of Russ, Dorn, Corax, and Gilliman survive and the titan legion has not landed yet.
Poor guards men.

Time for war. *sounds of troops marching and angry voices*

for the turtle the pie and our lost brothers on the planet

**God Of Yams**

Brothers, I have thought long and hard on this subject and have come to a realization.

Aunshova, no matter how misguided, showed us something, he showed us how far we have drifted from our purpose. We have blinded ourselves in this war against heresy, and forgotten our true purpose. Does no one present remember the reason Turtle Pie is around in the first place? Our most holy creation was created in order to combat pointless threads, not heretics. This poll was created to make Turtle Pie versions of popular 40k themes, often with delicious puns involved, yet we have turned it into a war zone.

I ask all of you, Including Aunshova, do you really want this thread to stay how it is? Or do you want to rise above our petty arguing and use this thread as the base of operations for all things Turtle Pie? as it should be.
To find the true spirit of Turtle pie, I urge you to return to the beginning of this thread and the original posts by Arihiman, who was an idiot, but an idiot we should be thanking for indirectly causing this whole thing.
Well Brothers, enough with this speech, it's time to make your decision, I leave you with a quote I find particularly relevant in this situation.
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend, inside a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

**youbedead**

God Of Yams you are right, dear god what have we done. I wish to repent. I wish to join the church of pi and pie. We are stronger together then separate. All i ask is that the church of turtle pi remain a sect of the most holy church of turtle pie.

**aunshova**

Happygrunt wrote:

As Zealot of the Church, I pronounce that your crimes are irriversible, and you are doomed. However, I was once also controlled by the likes of chaos, and must give you a mission to repent, as it shall insure your lasting in non-chaos grip. You must find, and destroy, the Celery Sticks to prove you loyalty. And when you retrun, you will be stripped of your rank and must re-climb the ranks again. GO FORTH FOR THE PIE!

Done

**sonofruss**

I am going to attempt to make 40k figs of the holy Chuck and Mr T in terminator armor what head should I use for Mr T?

For the turtle the pie and the end of pointless threads.

p.s. I still don't have an official rank help.

**God Of Yams**

youbedead wrote:God Of Yams you are right, dear god what have we done. I wish to repent. I wish to join the church of pi and pie. We are stronger together then separate. All i ask is that the church of turtle pi remain a sect of the most holy church of turtle pie.

Onc eyou truly join us, I hope you recognize that Pie is greater than Pi, but until then, I don't see why we should exclude you.

However, I do not speak for everyone...

**DebonaireToast**

er...*yawn*....What'd I miss?

Aww, crap....did I miss the war?

**God Of Yams**

DebonaireToast wrote:

er...*yawn*....What'd I miss?

Aww, crap....did I miss the war?

Yes, and your lack of support on the holy pie story forum was most disappointing.

Brothers, another thread has already begun to be claimed by turtle pie, but I am being hassled by naysayers, I need some support.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/231847.page

**aunshova**

God Of Yams wrote:
Yes, and your lack of support on the holy pie story forum was most disappointing.

Brothers, another thread has already begun to be claimed by turtle pie, but I am being hassled by naysayers, I need some support.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/231847.page

I will assist as I must pay eternal penitence for my sins.

**Shrike78**

I too must pay for my sins...

Brothers... my absence has been long... and my solitude from you has been lonely... I feel that I have betrayed my station as High Chaplain of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie... and in turn, Turtle pie itself and all of its followers...

I seek not forgiveness for my sins... but the reasons for my absence were niether Laxity, nor heresy... But tradgedy can sap the will of even the most faithful...

And now I have returned, bowed and humbled before you devout... I ask that I may return to the church, and prove my worth, and piety once more

**Golden Eyed Scout**

Shrike78 wrote:I too must pay for my sins...

Brothers... my absence has been long... and my solitude from you has been lonely... I feel that I have betrayed my station as High Chaplain of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie... and in turn, Turtle pie itself and all of its followers...

I seek not forgiveness for my sins... but the reasons for my absence were niether Laxity, nor heresy... But tradgedy can sap the will of even the most faithful...

And now I have returned, bowed and humbled before you devout... I ask that I may return to the church, and prove my worth, and piety once more

My lord, you will ever have our welcome, as you are the one who first alerted us to the truth of Turtle and Pie. may your life never experiance another tragedy, we merely ask that do not leave us leaderless, as we unfortuently lead astray. We welcome you back, lord Shrike78. may both Turtle and Pie watch over you.

**sonofruss**

The leader of turtle pie has returned.

Now where are pics?

**aunshova**

Shrike78 wrote:I too must pay for my sins...

Brothers... my absence has been long... and my solitude from you has been lonely... I feel that I have betrayed my station as High Chaplain of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie... and in turn, Turtle pie itself and all of its followers...

I seek not forgiveness for my sins... but the reasons for my absence were niether Laxity, nor heresy... But tradgedy can sap the will of even the most faithful...

And now I have returned, bowed and humbled before you devout... I ask that I may return to the church, and prove my worth, and piety once more

Hey welcome back! Take a seat, have a slice. And don't look at the past few pages.

**Shrike78**

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:
Shrike78 wrote:I too must pay for my sins...

Brothers... my absence has been long... and my solitude from you has been lonely... I feel that I have betrayed my station as High Chaplain of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie... and in turn, Turtle pie itself and all of its followers...

I seek not forgiveness for my sins... but the reasons for my absence were niether Laxity, nor heresy... But tradgedy can sap the will of even the most faithful...

And now I have returned, bowed and humbled before you devout... I ask that I may return to the church, and prove my worth, and piety once more

My lord, you will ever have our welcome, as you are the one who first alerted us to the truth of Turtle and Pie. may your life never experiance another tragedy, we merely ask that do not leave us leaderless, as we unfortuently lead astray. We welcome you back, lord Shrike78. may both Turtle and Pie watch over you.

Though I thank you for your welcome, It should be established that I was not the one who first discovered turtle pie

That honor belongs to our saints, who were sainted thusly

**Shrike78**

I have a request of those who follow in the footsteps of turtle pie... those who have official standings in the church, please post exactly what your rank is... I will then compile this data on the front page of the Turtle pie blog for all to see.... that is, if the librarians of the church do not thin that I overstep my bounds

Also... I have recieved requests for icons of themost holy turtle pie... These I do not have, as my seclusion from dakka represented a seclusion from all things warhammer, as well as video games, television, and so on...

My apologies, I will provide the icons as soon as I find them

**God Of Yams**

aunshova wrote:

Hey welcome back! Take a seat, have a slice. And don't look at the past few pages.

On that subject, I suggest you change your signature.

Shrike: I, of course, am a saint, along with 'Eadhunta and Mekboy

(Edit: oops, silly mistake)

(double edit: spelling)

(Edit of the edit: spelling...DAMMIT!)

**aunshova**

So I guess I'm now like the Fallen Angel of Turtle Pie or something?

**Shrike78**

aunshova wrote:So I guess I'm now like the Fallen Angel of Turtle Pie or something?

Will ye repent?

**God Of Yams**

Aunshova has begun his repentance, and it has been suggested that he again become an acolyte, which seems like a good suggestion.

**Happygrunt**

Shrike78 wrote:I have a request of those who follow in the footsteps of turtle pie... those who have official standings in the church, please post exactly what your rank is... I will then compile this data on the front page of the Turtle pie blog for all to see.... that is, if the librarians of the church do not thin that I overstep my bounds

Also... I have recieved requests for icons of themost holy turtle pie... These I do not have, as my seclusion from dakka represented a seclusion from all things warhammer, as well as video games, television, and so on...

My apologies, I will provide the icons as soon as I find them

Hey, welcome back! (have I already said that)

Anyway, my rank is Zealot Protectoris of the Church of Turtle Pie

**Shrike78**

God Of Yams wrote:Aunshova has begun his repentance, and it has been suggested that he again become an acolyte, which seems like a good suggestion.

Well then I second that motion.. if the saints believe that I once more deserve the privilege to do so

**God Of Yams**

Shrike78 wrote:
God Of Yams wrote:Aunshova has begun his repentance, and it has been suggested that he again become an acolyte, which seems like a good suggestion.

Well then I second that motion.. if the saints believe that I once more deserve the privilege to do so

Shrike, stop being so humble, I think most of us are just happy to have you back

**Shrike78**

God Of Yams wrote:
Shrike78 wrote:
God Of Yams wrote:Aunshova has begun his repentance, and it has been suggested that he again become an acolyte, which seems like a good suggestion.

Well then I second that motion.. if the saints believe that I once more deserve the privilege to do so

Shrike, stop being so humble, I think most of us are just happy to have you back

is about all I can say

**Happygrunt**

God Of Yams wrote:
Shrike78 wrote:
God Of Yams wrote:Aunshova has begun his repentance, and it has been suggested that he again become an acolyte, which seems like a good suggestion.

Well then I second that motion.. if the saints believe that I once more deserve the privilege to do so

Shrike, stop being so humble, I think most of us are just happy to have you back

Yes we are!

**VictorVonTzeentch**

Welcome back High Chaplain.

In accordance with your request I give you the listing of my name and rank most Pie-ous one.

BrotherStynier, Acolyte of the Holy Church of the Children of Turtle Pie.

If you wish it I can compile all data on the ranks of our Brothers.

**sonofruss**

And there is me sonofruss who still does not have a rank. Please give me a rank. I am spreading the love for turtle pie to my flgs.
I am also working on a apocalypse force for apocalypse with as many pie plates as possible.
big pie and small pie.

**Shrike78**

your official inception is long overdue brother sonofruss... long have you walked the halls of our church, guided by your faith... However, I think that part of the reason for this oversight has been because, while your faith is obviously strong, there has been little indication as to what task would allow you to most benefit the cause of the great Turtle Pie.

For now, I propose that sonofruss be made an acolyte of our church... and that he be given the choice to follow either the Ordo Zealous, Rhetoric, or Librarium

**sonofruss**

I am thinking zealous because I love pie. I request pie on the anniversary of my birth instead of cake mmmmmmmmm pie. Let them eat pie

**focusedfire**

Welcome back Shrike, Your presence has been missed. I regret your tragedy and hope that whenever such strikes in your life that it will be balanced with an equal amount of good fortune. I also look forward to the next installment of your creative work in progress.

As to my rank, I am still a scholar of the greater goodness that is the Eternal Turtle Pie.