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You dedicate your life and soul to the furtherment of the Most Holy Turtle Pie

I have blessed the thread with more pie.

Uh, were you talking to me, or were you generally contemplating your input to the church?

It's just that I was replying to the previous post.

Rejoice, for another Lost One comes forth from the Darkness to embrace the Light of the Most Holy Turtle Pie.

OverbossGhurzubMoga wrote:Rejoice, for another Lost One comes forth from the Darkness to embrace the Light of the Most Holy Turtle Pie.

And who would that be?

Reaper6 wrote:

sonofruss wrote:On both actually.

Just checking, never hurts to be sure. Incidentally, what post/rank within the Church do you currently hold ? You have proven your loyalty to our faith in the Omnidessert, standing boldly against the heretics, yet it seems you have been overlooked for promotion !

Scout, you have indeed been with us for quite a while now, and have shown temperence and resolve in your studies. You raise a valid point regarding your own promotion.

I put it to the senior members of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie that Golden Eyed Scout has shown the patience of The Blessed Turtle, studying diligently and staying on the path of the righteous. In light of this, isn't it about time he was elevated within the Ordo Paladin, to Knight perhaps ?

DebonaireToast wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:How do I earn the right to level my self up in the Church?

Kill terrifying monsters...such as RATS!

Or if grinding is not your thing....completing a quest perhaps? Recovering a holy relic of the church maybe?

realspace3 wrote:You dedicate your life and soul to the furtherment of the Most Holy Turtle Pie

I hearby, humbled in the light of both Turtle and Pie, that the ranks of the Paladin Arms of the Church be set forth thusly.

1. Knight Cheval. A true champion of Pie and Turtle, these mighty warriors dedicate themselves to the Pie and Turtle. To become one of these few is truly long and ardous, but unbridled power and understanding await those who traverse this path. They have spent many long, hard, unforgiving winters in sone of the coldest regions on the planet, meditating and training. Their teacher, provides them with more than just knowledge of war. He gives them the knowledge of Love, a more potent weapon than any other. They emerge from their training, battered, weary, and tired, but filled with a new resolve they had never thought possible of possesing. A truly fearsome warrior, they are a boon to their brothers and sister, and a bane to their enemies. A Knight Cheval operates on the longest of leashes, searching the world for to bring light of Turtles and Pie. When they have left this world for others, their bodies are claimed by twelve other Kinght Chevalliers, and intered in the underground city of Rathma. None other than the Knight Cheval may enter this sacred realm. Those who have tried, are shown no mercy. The Knight Cheval rescues the orphans of war, and raise them in this city. The children never speak, sworn never to tell others of what they have seen of the truth of Turtle and Pie. The orpahns view them as the manifest will of both Tutle and Pie, having been saved by them from a life of misery.

1B. Crusader Master. A master of warfare, the Crusade Master shows no mercy, and leaves no survivors. They are at the forfront of any action, determined to spread the truth of Turtle Pie from atop a steed and by their blade. Many beconme so enraptured with spreading faith through force, they preach even with their dying breath.

2. Knight. A knight fills the postition of philosopher, warrior, and tactition. They are responsible for much of the spreading of the faith in the North eastern parts.

2B. Crusader. Dedicated to spreading the Word. They are dogmatic and zealous in the best and worst senses of the word. They are responsible for atrocities, and unbelievable victories. Viewed as insane by most, they find solace only with other Crusaders. They are too important for the church to lose, but cause much misery

3. Cheval. A Cheval is taken under the wing of a knight or crusader, and taught everything that their master knows. Young, innocent, and full of hope, they represent the newest generation of followers of the Word.

4. Intiate. A young one who has yet to find their a master to teach them, they present a false bravodo, and many feel they are forsaken quickly unless taken in by a master. Many lose faith, and are taken in by the churches assasins. But that is a story for another day.....

I wish to be a Knight Cheval, as I have quested long and hard, suffered much, and given more than I ever thought possible to the cause. I await the answer of our lord, Shrike78, for what he views me as being best suited for. May Pie be with you.

Brothers, I have seen the light and embrace this most holy of desserts after reading the Cook Book of Turtle Pie.

I humbly request to join the church and be granted the rank of Prior, that I may go forth and bring the light of Turtle Pie amongst the unknowing that have been sheltered by evil. Together with the Paladins of the Church, we shall crusade against the heretics and unbelievers, that all shalt know the most beneficent and glorious Omnidessert.

Hallowed is the All Pie!

Platuan4th wrote:Brothers, I have seen the light and embrace this most holy of desserts after reading the Cook Book of Turtle Pie.

I humbly request to join the church and be granted the rank of Prior, that I may go forth and bring the light of Turtle Pie amongst the unknowing that have been sheltered by evil. Together with the Paladins of the Church, we shall crusade against the heretics and unbelievers, that all shalt know the most beneficent and glorious Omnidessert.

Hallowed is the All Pie!

The Knight Cheval Golden Eyed Scout shall bring about truth to the masses along with Prior Platuan4th!

FOR THE TURTLE AND PIE!!!!!! HURR!!!!!!!

Shrike78 wrote:
The duty of the Ordo Reclusium is to defend the Church and its followers. The Inquisition, therefore, is a subsect of the Ordo Reclusium, as it's pursuit of heretics protects us from those that would lead us astray.

You will be an Interrogator Chaplain, lest my bretheren in the other ordos, or the saints, have other plans for you.

A precedent has been set for the Ordo Reclusium. We defend the followers, the church, even the ideals of turtle pie. Whether beset by heretics from without or within, we will be the sword and the shield and the radiant might of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie.

My thanks lord, I shall not falter in my duties. It would appear it is time for me to take to the lonely path of lurking, to study the heretic so that we may better combat its evil, and so that they shall be known to our most holy cause.

The Turtle Pie protects, Brothers/Sisters.

OverbossGhurzubMoga wrote:Rejoice, for another Lost One comes forth from the Darkness to embrace the Light of the Most Holy Turtle Pie.

Ghurzub, if you wish to join us, you may enter at the rank of Acolyte, add your rank to your sig along with your induction date (and time if you really want to).

Doesn't a representetive of the Church of Turtle Pie have to agree with his joining of the Most Wonderful Church of the Omnidessert?

The Third Saint (me) decrees that Ghurzub is entered unto the Most Scrumptious Church of the Turtle Pie, and recieves the rank of Acolyte for seeing the light, the light that is Turtle Pie.

Mekboy wrote:Doesn't a representetive of the Church of Turtle Pie have to agree with his joining of the Most Wonderful Church of the Omnidessert?

The Third Saint (me) decrees that Ghurzub is entered unto the Most Scrumptious Church of the Turtle Pie, and recieves the rank of Acolyte for seeing the light, the light that is Turtle Pie.

You are right, Mekboy, I foolishly assumed that because he was only becoming a lowly acolyte I could take things into my own hands. I apologize.

I have a question!

Is there turtle cake too? You know... Like carrot cake.... But turtles...?

Well that is presuming that the cake isn't a lie...

I believe that cake, not having some sort of a filling center, would not be considered Pie-ous enough. However, if the cake had some sort of filling, or perhaps was an ice cream cake, I would submit it to our scholastic order for consideration.

Creamy reptile icing... Suculent shell filling... and a plesant dose of BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD in the sponge..... Sound pie enough? May be a bit.... messy though...

IRPurple wrote:Creamy reptile icing... Suculent shell filling... and a plesant dose of BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD in the sponge..... Sound pie enough? May be a bit.... messy though...

Uhh, you know the Pies we eat aren't made from Turtles right?

oh .............

Mmmm....Creamy turtle filling....*chomp,chomp* mm....golden-brown shell-crust..... *chomp*

God Of Yams wrote:
Uhh, you know the Pies we eat aren't made from Turtles right?

..........Doh.

Erm....yeah....so....

Whoops.

Ok, due to a recent mishap in another thread, I think we need to go over the rules again. A thread is only to be turtle pied if it is already pointless or ridiculous good, on topic threads are to be left alone!.


This is fun, but if you go around putting turtle pie everywhere, people trying to post in real threads are going to get pissed, and rightfully so.

Which thread was hit, and whom is responsible?

Wait, would King Ghidorah count as a mount for the Pie?

Only if you photoshop it.

It is not shaped in the shape of the Most Holy Turtle.

Go photoshop it until it is.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Reaper6 wrote:

sonofruss wrote:On both actually.

Just checking, never hurts to be sure. Incidentally, what post/rank within the Church do you currently hold ? You have proven your loyalty to our faith in the Omnidessert, standing boldly against the heretics, yet it seems you have been overlooked for promotion !

Scout, you have indeed been with us for quite a while now, and have shown temperence and resolve in your studies. You raise a valid point regarding your own promotion.

I put it to the senior members of the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie that Golden Eyed Scout has shown the patience of The Blessed Turtle, studying diligently and staying on the path of the righteous. In light of this, isn't it about time he was elevated within the Ordo Paladin, to Knight perhaps ?

DebonaireToast wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:How do I earn the right to level my self up in the Church?

Kill terrifying monsters...such as RATS!

Or if grinding is not your thing....completing a quest perhaps? Recovering a holy relic of the church maybe?

realspace3 wrote:You dedicate your life and soul to the furtherment of the Most Holy Turtle Pie

I hearby, humbled in the light of both Turtle and Pie, that the ranks of the Paladin Arms of the Church be set forth thusly.

1. Knight Cheval. A true champion of Pie and Turtle, these mighty warriors dedicate themselves to the Pie and Turtle. To become one of these few is truly long and ardous, but unbridled power and understanding await those who traverse this path. They have spent many long, hard, unforgiving winters in sone of the coldest regions on the planet, meditating and training. Their teacher, provides them with more than just knowledge of war. He gives them the knowledge of Love, a more potent weapon than any other. They emerge from their training, battered, weary, and tired, but filled with a new resolve they had never thought possible of possesing. A truly fearsome warrior, they are a boon to their brothers and sister, and a bane to their enemies. A Knight Cheval operates on the longest of leashes, searching the world for to bring light of Turtles and Pie. When they have left this world for others, their bodies are claimed by twelve other Kinght Chevalliers, and intered in the underground city of Rathma. None other than the Knight Cheval may enter this sacred realm. Those who have tried, are shown no mercy. The Knight Cheval rescues the orphans of war, and raise them in this city. The children never speak, sworn never to tell others of what they have seen of the truth of Turtle and Pie. The orpahns view them as the manifest will of both Tutle and Pie, having been saved by them from a life of misery.

1B. Crusader Master. A master of warfare, the Crusade Master shows no mercy, and leaves no survivors. They are at the forfront of any action, determined to spread the truth of Turtle Pie from atop a steed and by their blade. Many beconme so enraptured with spreading faith through force, they preach even with their dying breath.

2. Knight. A knight fills the postition of philosopher, warrior, and tactition. They are responsible for much of the spreading of the faith in the North eastern parts.

2B. Crusader. Dedicated to spreading the Word. They are dogmatic and zealous in the best and worst senses of the word. They are responsible for atrocities, and unbelievable victories. Viewed as insane by most, they find solace only with other Crusaders. They are too important for the church to lose, but cause much misery

3. Cheval. A Cheval is taken under the wing of a knight or crusader, and taught everything that their master knows. Young, innocent, and full of hope, they represent the newest generation of followers of the Word.

4. Intiate. A young one who has yet to find their a master to teach them, they present a false bravodo, and many feel they are forsaken quickly unless taken in by a master. Many lose faith, and are taken in by the churches assasins. But that is a story for another day.....

I wish to be a Knight Cheval, as I have quested long and hard, suffered much, and given more than I ever thought possible to the cause. I await the answer of our lord, Shrike78, for what he views me as being best suited for. May Pie be with you.

Um, little problem, where would my rank fall, as I was the first in the order as far as i know...

That ranking system was created by a lowly heretic, do not follow it, it is false and will rot your mind. Instead, let us cleanse our minds in the way of The Turtle by forgetting it and spreading word of the Pie to other forums.

!? wrote:That ranking system was created by a lowly heretic, do not follow it, it is false and will rot your mind. Instead, let us cleanse our minds in the way of The Turtle by forgetting it and spreading word of the Pie to other forums.

If you are talking of me, I advise you to take heed. I asked for Shrike78 to authorize the ranking system i made for the paladins. Next time, clarify, fro if you don't, I will not be so generous. You have been warned.

!? wrote:That ranking system was created by a lowly heretic, do not follow it, it is false and will rot your mind. Instead, let us cleanse our minds in the way of The Turtle by forgetting it and spreading word of the Pie to other forums.

Brother it is to my understanding that neither I nor my Holy Order has proclaimed Golden Eyed Scout as a heretic, in fact it seems as though he has been a great service to the church, despite his eagerness to accept a rank that has yet to be decided upon by our lords. But if you insist upon making a formal complaint I will have no choice but to investigate this matter.

Happygrunt wrote:Um, little problem, where would my rank fall, as I was the first in the order as far as i know...

If you truly were the first of the Holy Order in question than you would fall under the rank of either

1. Knight Cheval

OR

1B. Crusader Master

Depending on your prowess in war and whether this system is adopted.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote: The Knight Cheval Golden Eyed Scout shall bring about truth to the masses along with Prior Platuan4th!

GES I do not think your rank has been ratified by any one as of yet, going under this false rank could be considered as heresy do not forget the Aunshova Heresy, nor the living example the Fallen Angel is, he took for himself a title that did not exist and tore our church in two.

Brother Stynier, I did ask/put forth HUMBLY, asking if Shrike or a Saint ratify the ranks.

And that fact has been taken in to consideration as to why you are not a heretic! Taking a rank prematurely is the only thing I can think off the top of my head that could be held against you by those that do consider you a heretic.

Be patient, they will reach their decision in time. I see nothing wrong with what you have proposed nor, do I have any qualms about you and Happygrunt leading that particular Ordo, at this time at least.

BrotherStynier wrote:And that fact has been taken in to consideration as to why you are not a heretic! Taking a rank prematurely is the only thing I can think off the top of my head that could be held against you by those that do consider you a heretic.

Be patient, they will reach their decision in time. I see nothing wrong with what you have proposed nor, do I have any qualms about you and Happygrunt leading that particular Ordo, at this time at least.

YAYS! I AM NOT A HERETIC! i was just trying out the title. Has a nice ring to it, wouldn't you say?