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Granted, amazingly gakky.

I wish for schizophrenia.

Granted your Schizophrenia is caused by a large amounts of drugs which kill you moments later.

I wish My bus driver wasn't an illegal mexican

Granted, he's now a paraplegic man, the crash leaves you with less limbs than you had when you got on the bus.

I wish every human had 12 digits on each hand and we lived with a base-12 system of mathematics.

My bus driver is a Chick sooo double weird

Granted, but everyone finds 12-base too difficult so everyone gets two fingers chopped off and go back to a 10-base system.

I wish I could just teleport to work and the shops whenever I wanted to save walking or driving.

Granted, but you can't take your clothes with you.

I wish for the lulz.

After a while the lulz leaves you feeling empty and very alone.

I wish the macho guy in the pub would suddenly lose his belt and his trousers would fall down around his ankles

Granted, but he turns around and see's you laughing, thinking it was you that did it he punch's you so hard he knocks out 12 of your teeth.

I wish I was the best Halo and Call of Duty player online there ever was and could never be beaten.

Granted, however that doesn't matter because you're banned from playing any COD or Halo games online.

I wish to recieve the pain, and the pizza in 30 minutes or it's free.

Granted. You get your pizza for free. and you die from the pain before you could eat the pizza.

I wish for... everything that is not anything but still not nothing.

Granted, you get something. That something ain't cheap.

I wish for a turtle.

Granted, but your turtle is lonely and you can't find any friends for him. His loneliness makes you sad and because of this you never find joy in any action that you take ever again.

I wish for Dakkadakka to change all their Ork emoticons to squirrel emoticons.

granted. they all come with sound that constantly loops and can't be turned off. they haunt you in your sleep.

I wish I had Robot parts.

Granted your arms legs and the parts of your brain that control them are robotic you have no control over your life and you are forced to live a horrible life very concionsly

I wish People would click my pet demons and they would get awsome and never leave me or eat me or anything bad like that AKA we live happily ever after

Granted. They have leveled up (seriously, I clicked on them for ya).

I wish I could have a big screen TV.

You do. It only gets Oxygen and all the evangelical channels.

I wish I was best friends with Morgan freeman.

Granted. You are Morgan Freemans best friend. But his mellow voice soon lulls you into a state of unconciousness from which you cannot awaken.

I wish that whoever invented spam e mails would have to read and reply to every single stinking one of them ever sent.

Granted but after he does he hunts you down and rap*s you

I wish Disney channel wasn't much much less corney and the shows were funnyer

Granted. But Disney now has enough money to create a world wide empire were you must watch all the corny TV shows we all hate.

I wish I was a bad ass, like Commander Shepard... or Master Chief...

granted, you become a bad ass video game character, in an Erotic RPG

I wish I was a deathwatch marine

Granted. But you die in your first minute of service.
I wish I wasn't so poor.

Granted you becom so rich your wife starts cheating on you with your gardener and becomes a sluty greedy hoe and you are driven even deeper to porness

I wish people wouldnt give a crap about libya tell me about fricken japan and there dang crysises!

Granted. But we are too focused on that and a earthquake strikes were you live and no one is prepared and everyone dies.

I wish that Battlefield 3 came out already.

Granted.
sadly, its only half developed and gliches every 30 seconds making it inposable to play.

I wish i knew how this thread could still be going after almost 4 mouths

Granted, you read all the posts from start to finish. then you wish you hadn't wished to know.

I wish the Tau codex was released fully complete this week.

Granted. But it absolutely sucks.

I wish I could have lot's o' money!

granted you have so much money, in coin form, upon your person that you can't move, you starve to death

I wish I was high

Granted, however the genie thought you meant high as in 'a long way up in the air' and you fall to your death.

I wish my painting desk wasn't so untidy.

Granted, someone stole all your stuff!

I wish I could run as fast as the Flash super hero.

Granted. But you run into a wall and you're now a Vegtable your entire life.

I wish that I didn't starve to death.