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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 09:39:16
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Ork Admiral Kroozin Da Kosmos on Da Hulk
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Infantryman wrote: Jidmah wrote: Infantryman wrote:Surprised this hasn't been posted yet:
Though the FAQ has resolved some of that (the 10 wounds thing).
You do know that everything on that picture is wrong or FAQed?
The first two ones are absolutely correct. In order to shoot at a character, it needs to be closer than another unit - which need not be visible - and it must itself be visible.
You can overwatch characters no matter how close they are if your weapon has enough range. You are not picking targets for overwatch.
The second part is very much intended game design. There is no reason for the farseer to suddenly stick out like a sore thumb because the tau brought a wall between them and the other unit that would otherwise have protected him.
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7 Ork facts people always get wrong:
Ragnar did not win against Thrakka, but suffered two crushing defeats within a few days of each other.
A lasgun is powerful enough to sever an ork's appendage or head in a single, well aimed shot.
Orks meks have a better understanding of electrics and mechanics than most Tech Priests.
Orks actually do not think that purple makes them harder to see. The joke was made canon by Alex Stewart's Caphias Cain books.
Gharkull Blackfang did not even come close to killing the emperor.
Orks can be corrupted by chaos, but few of them have any interest in what chaos offers.
Orks do not have the power of believe. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 10:11:24
Subject: Re:Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Warplord Titan Princeps of Tzeentch
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Peregrine wrote: BoomWolf wrote:Because they are programmed to preserve themselves from needless destruction on one hand (the "moral" aspect), while serving as a "meatshield" for more important assets (the blocking shots for suits part)
Its in the fluff, has been from the day tau were first introduced.
That should be represented as the player choosing whether the unit falls back in self-preservation mode, or is ordered to stay. It's a mode switch that should be 100% controlled, not an emotional reaction to how scary combat is.
Why?
Do you get to pick when your marines choose to fall back?
Its an autonomous AI that follows complex scripts, not a simple switch the commander has direct control over.
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can neither confirm nor deny I lost track of what I've got right now. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 10:39:18
Subject: Re:Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Sadistic Inquisitorial Excruciator
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Imperial Guard Conscripts from Mordia have more accurate overwatch than the Adeptus Custodes.
So do their Sentinals, which are better firing when charged than most of your average Landraiders.
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Disclaimer - I am a Games Workshop Shareholder. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 11:22:13
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine
Little Rock, Arkansas
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-A vindicaire assassin, one of the galaxy's most lethal sharpshooters, can still only boast 83% accuracy against easy targets, no better than many characters, and falls to an abysmal 17%, just like most of the rest of the game, during overwatch.
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20000+ points
Tournament reports:
1234567 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 12:39:50
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Been Around the Block
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ChargerIIC wrote:I forgot the best one.
A bolter fires and a Necron succumbs. His corpse rises up as a poxwalker much to the horror of his comrades. Then, to everyone's surprise his corpse rises again as a fully functionality necron. The necron and the poxwalker stare at each other, both wondering which of them is the clone.
That is the funniest one yet!
-Primaris Intercessors are the least cost effective troop choice to field for the Space Marines, despite being 'better' than your average Tactical Marine.
- Primaris Reivers are cheaper to field than Intercessors, and if equipped with grapnel launchers they are objectively better at the same price.
-Sternguard are cheaper than both, and equipped with better weapons still.
-Marine scouts are half the price, but when armed with a Missile launcher, they are capable of doing just as much damage as Intercessors when using Frag missiles.
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ChargerIIC wrote:
A bolter fires and a Necron succumbs. His corpse rises up as a poxwalker much to the horror of his comrades. Then, to everyone's surprise his corpse rises again as a fully functionality necron. The necron and the poxwalker stare at each other, both wondering which of them is the clone. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 14:33:47
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Archmagos Veneratus Extremis
On the Internet
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Racerguy180 wrote: ClockworkZion wrote:
Well Rambo, crossed with Predator, crossed with Alien (because every female Catachan is basically Ripley), crossed with Crocodile Dundee ("That's not a knife!") crossed with every practical effect explosion ever.
Michael Bay agrees with this!
Getting a closer look at the models recently I've noticed that I'm almost certain that some of the faces might actually be sculpted after 80s action starts like Reb Brown and Sylvester Stallone.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/18 21:12:25
Subject: Re:Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Nihilistic Necron Lord
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Genestealer can outrun supersonic aircraft.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/19 00:28:35
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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Sisters of battle can out-run Genestealers with the power of Space Jesus.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/19 12:38:39
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Stormonu wrote:An aasault cannon, with 6 barrels, can fire only 6 times, yet a single barrel boltgun fires twice...
You know each dice does not represent a single bullet, right?
(well, it might for some weapons)...
Mark.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/19 12:50:15
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Locked in the Tower of Amareo
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Jidmah wrote:
The second part is very much intended game design. There is no reason for the farseer to suddenly stick out like a sore thumb because the tau brought a wall between them and the other unit that would otherwise have protected him.
Apart from you know being only guy visible? There's nobody else to confuse enemy. There's this big wall and then there's this lone enemy guy. Yeah let's shoot that indestructible wall rather than the enemy. Maybe there's enemy behind the wall and they get scared to death by the sound!
Yeah makes sense.
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2024 painted/bought: 109/109 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/19 14:22:14
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Being good at weapon development, the Tau quickly realised they could weld two sturdy vehicles together with a small gap in between them, strap a broadside in between using bungee cord, and steer the whole assembly round so the broadside could only see a single model directly in front of him, which might just happen to be the enemy commander...
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/19 15:53:56
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Ork Admiral Kroozin Da Kosmos on Da Hulk
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YMDC just made me realize something funny: A battlewagon can run over a unit of scouts sitting in the second floor, because they are within 1" of its hull. The gorkanaut standing right next to the battlewagon cannot strike them with its klaw despite the naut towering over them, because they are 4" from its base
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2018/02/19 15:55:28
7 Ork facts people always get wrong:
Ragnar did not win against Thrakka, but suffered two crushing defeats within a few days of each other.
A lasgun is powerful enough to sever an ork's appendage or head in a single, well aimed shot.
Orks meks have a better understanding of electrics and mechanics than most Tech Priests.
Orks actually do not think that purple makes them harder to see. The joke was made canon by Alex Stewart's Caphias Cain books.
Gharkull Blackfang did not even come close to killing the emperor.
Orks can be corrupted by chaos, but few of them have any interest in what chaos offers.
Orks do not have the power of believe. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/19 19:15:13
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Pyromaniac Hellhound Pilot
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tneva82 wrote: Jidmah wrote:
The second part is very much intended game design. There is no reason for the farseer to suddenly stick out like a sore thumb because the tau brought a wall between them and the other unit that would otherwise have protected him.
Apart from you know being only guy visible? There's nobody else to confuse enemy. There's this big wall and then there's this lone enemy guy. Yeah let's shoot that indestructible wall rather than the enemy. Maybe there's enemy behind the wall and they get scared to death by the sound!
Yeah makes sense.
In the Grim Derpness of the Far Future, there still is Chivalry. I guess.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 04:22:14
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Screaming Shining Spear
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That advancing and zooming/dodging flying Vyper Jetbike going 26" or more is just as easy to hit as that massive Baneblade that is stationary!!!
Eldar go to war with a 12" range gun and then they can outrun their ammo sometimes.
You should see Grenades....The elder can easily run 3 times as fast as they can throw.....faster with a psychic nudge. A game of American Football would never go well with these guys.
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koooaei wrote:We are rolling so many dice to have less time to realise that there is not much else to the game other than rolling so many dice. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 04:38:41
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Posts with Authority
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admironheart wrote:That advancing and zooming/dodging flying Vyper Jetbike going 26" or more is just as easy to hit as that massive Baneblade that is stationary!!!
Which is why Alpha Legion 'camo' is so good.
You might as well be shooting at aircraft.
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Mob Rule is not a rule. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 05:22:25
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine
Little Rock, Arkansas
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admironheart wrote:
You should see Grenades....The elder can easily run 3 times as fast as they can throw.....faster with a psychic nudge. A game of American Football would never go well with these guys.
Man that would be tough. Is it legal in A.football rules for a QB to throw a pass to himself? Automatically Appended Next Post: After more thinking about it, I realized that mathematically, any marine captain-type character, as well as any marine in their command aura, including neophytes, have better accuracy than a vindicaire assassin. Man that guy needs some pointers.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/02/20 05:24:09
20000+ points
Tournament reports:
1234567 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 06:04:19
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Lurking Gaunt
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Stormonu wrote:- When the sun goes down, plasma weapons are more likely to explode
I laughed so hard, my tears sprinkled the backside of my glasses!
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24.000 Tyranids painted, still rising in numbers
4.000 Genestealer Cult
7.000
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 06:20:49
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Gore-Soaked Lunatic Witchhunter
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admironheart wrote:That advancing and zooming/dodging flying Vyper Jetbike going 26" or more is just as easy to hit as that massive Baneblade that is stationary!!!...
One simple upgrade and a Stratagem, on the other hand, can make an advancing/dodging/zooming/flying Hornet physically impossible to hit by anything short of a Space Marine Captain.
Except for the Sicaran Battle Tank's autocannon. He gives no f***s.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 13:32:34
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Slaanesh Chosen Marine Riding a Fiend
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The humble 'Exterminatus Rhino'.
Roll a 6 and depopulate a battlefield.
Gives vortex missiles an inferiority complex.
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Please note, for those of you who play Chaos Daemons as a faction the term "Daemon" is potentially offensive. Instead, please play codex "Chaos: Mortally Challenged". Thank you. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 13:50:39
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Battlefortress Driver with Krusha Wheel
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Anything with the fly keyword (no matter how slow in the lore it may be or if it only hovers 5 feet of the ground) can catch up and get into close combat with Super Sonic Ork Jets.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 23:29:23
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Worthiest of Warlock Engineers
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-A 70 ton breakthrough tank smashes into a rebel Guard unit and halts. Despite the enemy swarming the hull the crew do not use the defensive weapons that are in place for specifically this reason, and the main gun does not fire on anything else that might be a big threat. Instead the tank halts in place and grinds its tracks ineffectually turning to the left and right, attempting to club the infantry with its sides.
-Explosive shells are apparently canister shot that contain a random number of BB's
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Free from GW's tyranny and the hobby is looking better for it
DR:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Pww205++D++A+++/sWD146R++T(T)D+
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/20 23:35:12
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Keeper of the Holy Orb of Antioch
avoiding the lorax on Crion
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master of ordinance wrote:-A 70 ton breakthrough tank smashes into a rebel Guard unit and halts. Despite the enemy swarming the hull the crew do not use the defensive weapons that are in place for specifically this reason, and the main gun does not fire on anything else that might be a big threat. Instead the tank halts in place and grinds its tracks ineffectually turning to the left and right, attempting to club the infantry with its sides.
-Explosive shells are apparently canister shot that contain a random number of BB's
Goliath bane blade cannons in slow and massive tutrets that fomfire giant shells made to kill tanks are perfect anti air weapons!
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Sgt. Vanden - OOC Hey, that was your doing. I didn't choose to fly in the "Dongerprise'.
"May the odds be ever in your favour"
Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
I have no clue how Dakka's moderation work. I expect it involves throwing a lot of d100 and looking at many random tables.
FudgeDumper - It could be that you are just so uncomfortable with the idea of your chapters primarch having his way with a docile tyranid spore cyst, that you must deny they have any feelings at all. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/21 00:06:12
Subject: Re:Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Sadistic Inquisitorial Excruciator
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No matter what he is killed by, be it a Grot, a snipers bullet, a Volcano cannon, or an exploding titan, there is no wound the humble Imperial Guard Medic can not fix instantly.
Unless the rest of his squad died too. Then screw them all.
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Disclaimer - I am a Games Workshop Shareholder. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/21 00:50:28
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Devious Space Marine dedicated to Tzeentch
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tneva82 wrote: Jidmah wrote:
The second part is very much intended game design. There is no reason for the farseer to suddenly stick out like a sore thumb because the tau brought a wall between them and the other unit that would otherwise have protected him.
Apart from you know being only guy visible? There's nobody else to confuse enemy. There's this big wall and then there's this lone enemy guy. Yeah let's shoot that indestructible wall rather than the enemy. Maybe there's enemy behind the wall and they get scared to death by the sound!
Yeah makes sense.
If line of sight mattered, you'd be able to drive a big vehicle between the units so your shooters would only be able to see the character. The situation isn't any less absurd, just different.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/21 23:04:33
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Fresh-Faced New User
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One big rules comedy are the competitive army lists -
Space Marines - Commanders arriving at battle with empty transports (razorbacks) and empty flying tansports (stormhawk). Not a marine in sight. There are some guardsmens here for some reason, and they can't get in the transports.
Magus - Magus goes to war with none of his own marines and all demons and commanders.
Mortarion - Mortarion goes to war with none of his own marines and all vehicles and commanders and pox walkers.
Gulliman - Gulliman goes to war, leading his brave razorbacks to war. Sometimes, he even brings a couple ultramarines, but mostly he loves leading imperial guardsmen.
Blood angels - blood angel commanders go to war, leading an army of guardsmen.
Space wolves - space wolves commanders go to war, leading an army of guardsmen and imperial assassins.
Chaos Space Marines - Demon princes and other chaos lords go to war, leading an army of cultists. Oh, and disregard their markings, they are all Alpha Legion.
Eldar - FYI, All other craftwords are destroyed, only Alaitoc exists now.
Imperial Guard - entire armies made up of guardsmen and lemon russ tanks...oh. Actually these look pretty good.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/02/21 23:11:20
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/21 23:11:17
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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ashmizen wrote:One big rules comedy are the competitive army lists -
Space Marines - Commanders arriving at battle with empty transports (razorbacks) and empty flying tansports (stormhawk). Not a marine in sight. There are some guardsmens here for some reason, and they can't get in the transports.
Magus - Magus goes to war with none of his own marines and all demons and commanders.
Mortarion - Mortarion goes to war with none of his own marines and all vehicles and commanders and pox walkers.
Gulliman - Gulliman goes to war, leading his brave razorbacks to war. Sometimes, he even brings a couple ultramarines, but mostly he loves leading imperial guardsmen.
Blood angels - blood angel commanders go to war, leading an army of guardsmen.
Space wolves - space wolves commanders go to war, leading an army of guardsmen and imperial assassins.
Those spacemarines are working hard directing all these guardsmen to the front line. To die for the emperor like they are ment too. To say otherwise is heresy.
I haven't been able to shake the image of a spacemarine sergeant walking past a line up of the local population say frontline infantry as he eyes up everyone he walks past. Followed by his squad of marines handing out lasguns and flak vests.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/21 23:24:02
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Fresh-Faced New User
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Guilliman has been busy rewriting the Codex Astartes after seeing the desperate state of the space marine chapters.
To reduce casualties by 98%, the new Codex Astartes dictates that Companies 1-9 are no longer allowed to be deployed in battle. No more terminators. No more assault or tactical squads.
Instead, all battles are to be fought with just the company captain, supplied with scouts from the 10th company, all the vehicles as needed from the armory (driver only), and an entire battalion of imperial guard.
To reduce casualties, Gulliman will fight in half the battles himself, since he can't really die.
In response, chaos space marines have countered with the same strategy, sending the demon prince primarchs to every battle, deployed with their most trusted chaos lords and sorcerers, commanding a huge army of ... cultists, pox walkers, and demons.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/22 02:05:00
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Worthiest of Warlock Engineers
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-A .38 revolver is somehow able to kill a 200+ ton super heavy tank
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Free from GW's tyranny and the hobby is looking better for it
DR:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Pww205++D++A+++/sWD146R++T(T)D+
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/22 02:15:01
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Loyal Necron Lychguard
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Anrakyr is incapable of riding any transports because he lacks a <dynasty> keyword. For a guy who's title is "The Traveler" he's pretty bad at traveling, isn't he?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2018/02/22 14:21:23
Subject: Rules comedy 8th edition!
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Using an example from a game I played recently:
Commissar Yarrick stands triumphantly on the objective, Old One Eye barrels in, determined to squish the small lump of biomasss... And stops physically nose to nose with Yarrick, unable to attack him because Yarrick is standing on a 2.5in tall walkway.
A few turns later, a group of Neophytes climb up the same walkway to give Yarrick a stern talking to, but somehow get run over by the Leman Russ sitting next to the walkway
(seriously, the double standard of monstrous creatures being unable to attack when vehicles can is very upsetting)
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