Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

"Make Dakka not waagh"-A boy who had just taken a bolter round to the head

"do the barrel roll!" C.S Goto

"I'm out of ammo"-what really caused the Eye of Terror

'Thou shalt refrain from replacing the oxygen tanks in thy masters rebreather with helium, no matter how amusing this be to thy humour!'

fulgrim going to greet his newly discovered brother Perturabo

fulgrim: Welcome Perturabo, I am your broth-

Perturabo: HAHAHA WHY ARE YOU DRESSED IN PINK HAHAH AND THAT LONG HAIR! YOU LOOK LIKE A WOMAN!! IM GONNA CALL YOU FERGIE! HAHAH

fulgrim: SHUT UP IM PERFECT!!! *RUNS AWAY CRYING*

"NEVER GUNNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GUNNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GUNNA TURN AROUND AND HURT YOU"

*The noise Emperors Children Sonic weapons ACTUALLY make.


Thats right IoM, your being Rick roll;ed to death.

If I did CSM, the first thing I'd do would be to convert some rockin' noise marines with amps, guitars and drums.

When genestealers first did the brain-control thing on guardsmen:
Sarge- "OMNOMNOM"
IG 1- "Sir?"
Sarge- "yassss?"
IG 1- "What's with the wierd noises?"
Sarge- "OMNOMNOM"
IG 1- "AAAARGH!"
IG 2- "OMG you just ate Keith!"
Sarge- "Uhh, heretic...?"
IG 1- "Oh, right."
Sarge- "OMNOMNOM"
IG 2- "AAAARGH!"
IG 3- "OMG you just ate Dave!"
Sarge- "heretic."
IG 3- "Oh, right."
Sarge- "OMNOMNOM"
ect.

Necron Lord: Prepare the Monolith
Monolith: 404 File not found
Necron Lord: ...

DickBandit wrote:Necron Lord: Prepare the Monolith
Monolith: 404 File not found
Necron Lord: ...

****bandit- you may have found the way to kill necrons. Just give them a load of viruses, or subscribe them to every website ever. They'll be bogged down in popups and thus will be blind...
That or live underwater. RUST!!!

Random Guardsman fighting against a Xenos enemy and getting a headshot: "Owned."

Any Tyranid: "RAWR!"

IG: Sir! We captured a servant of nurgle!
snooki: for the last time who is nurgle?!

Cunning Warboss Speach: The goal of this year’s Waargh is to establish a dialogue between the different approaches to create a space for a constructive discussion of ideas about human nature and understanding.
Ork Grunt: Uuh? I betta like dem bosses stronger den cunning!

Gaunts: "Click Click screetch screetch, scratch"

"Uhh, what are the Tyranids doing?"- last words spoken on Amphilion Base


"Dey stole our taktik!"- Ork boy under attack from Hive Fleet Jormungandr

A tale of two guardsmen:

1- "Hey, Bob, I hear we're fighting chaos today."
2- "So?"
1- "You going?"
2- "nah."
1- "Can I use your plasma gun?"
2- "nah."
1- "Why?"
2- "It's mine."
1- "You're not using it!"
2- "so?"
1- "I want it!"
2- "so?"
1- "That's not fair!"
2- "so?"
1- "stoppit!"
2- "...so?"
1- "that makes no sense!"
2- "so?"
1- "AAAAAAARGH!!!"
2- "..."
1- "..."
2- "so?"
*suicide*

Calm down there Shrike

Catachans are gathered around a camp fire, drinking and swapping rumours of famous Catachan commanders around;

Catachan 1: Well I once heard that Sergeant Harker actually strangled a ravenger with his bare hands!

Catachan 2: Well thats nothing, ol' Iron Hand strangled a Chaos Lord with nothing more than a piece of rope and several taunts

Catachan 3 looks up from the fire and glares at them all: Horus lowered the shields on his battle barge cause Sly Marbo told him to.

The Catachans sink their gaze back the fire, stunned.

so is sly marbo chuck norris in the year 40k then???

Damn thing close enough IMO.

Hes just a guardsmen yet pulls off feats that wouldn't of shamed the elite warriors of pre HH

All whilst in flak armour.

Well, that means Ram-MARBO is 10,000 years old at least.

bet he got nuts as hard as steelbullets or better adamantium...

vik

Viktor von Domm wrote:bet he got nuts as hard as steelbullets or better adamantium...

vik

....what would happen if creed and marbo teamed up

The tactical genius of a out-flanking demo charge.

As in Marbo would come in one side, and several thousand kilos of high explosive the other.

Tzeentch- "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Wardragoon wrote:

Viktor von Domm wrote:bet he got nuts as hard as steelbullets or better adamantium...

vik

....what would happen if creed and marbo teamed up

Then:
-da emprah will rise.
-da gribblies will flee back where they came from.
-da orks will follow.
-da eldar and tau will date and dance off in the opposite direction to the 'nids and orks.
-da chaos gods will get killed by creed/marbo/emprah.
-CSM will collapse and die.
-daemons (and mephiston) will disintegrate.
-da warp will close for evah.
-The necrons wake up, see the sh** going on, and go back to sleep, to wake up with aftershave on thier face and the word "penis" insribed on thier face 10,000 years later.
-squats return, get drunk with SW, and die during a dare-race through the ever-closing warp.
-BA succumb to the black rage, have loads of fun beating the sh** out of each other, and die.

Keywords spoken by Chaos Sorc's when casting Lash of Submission: "Get over here!" -in homage to Scorpion.

Painnen wrote:Keywords spoken by Chaos Sorc's when casting Lash of Submission: "Get over here!" -in homage to Scorpion.

Nice



Guardsmen 14525213: Has anyone noticed we're just as effective shooting at somthing hundreds of meters away, as we are at somthing like 15 feet away. That just makes no sens-BANG

Commissar: Any one else have any revalations whilst we're here?

Creed outflanks a Lord Comissar in front of an enemy army of imperial guard, they try to run, but they have a commisar, world subsequently implodes

Konrad curze: congratulations captain on your promotion to equerry of the primarch.

Captain: thank you sir.

Curze: by the way you'll now be required to wear this cape and mask.

Captain: sir?

Curze: and you will be known as robin. Questions?

shrike wrote:

Wardragoon wrote:

Viktor von Domm wrote:bet he got nuts as hard as steelbullets or better adamantium...

vik

....what would happen if creed and marbo teamed up

Then:
-da emprah will rise.
-da gribblies will flee back where they came from.
-da orks will follow.
-da eldar and tau will date and dance off in the opposite direction to the 'nids and orks.
-da chaos gods will get killed by creed/marbo/emprah.
-CSM will collapse and die.
-daemons (and mephiston) will disintegrate.
-da warp will close for evah.
-The necrons wake up, see the sh** going on, and go back to sleep, to wake up with aftershave on thier face and the word "penis" insribed on thier face 10,000 years later.
-squats return, get drunk with SW, and die during a dare-race through the ever-closing warp.
-BA succumb to the black rage, have loads of fun beating the sh** out of each other, and die.

Closed warp = no faster than light travel or psyker powers. That warp is pretty important to practically every race except the 'Nids.

"DAMNIT, WHO PAINTED MY THRONE PINK!" the reason for Khorne's anger and his rivalry with Slaanesh.

"Hrm, dis piece goes here, and dat piece... I NEED MORE GLUE!!!"- one of Grotsnik's orderlies, mere moments before Nobs all across the camp began to have their last headaches.