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 Duskweaver wrote:
Did you know pease pudding was originally a Roman dish?

They created a dessert and called it peas.

that made me groan so hard, Augustus heard it.

 Duskweaver wrote:
Did you know pease pudding was originally a Roman dish?

They created a dessert and called it peas.

Oh no, my ignorance is showing, as this one went straight over my head.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calgacus

Come for the poor jokes, stay for the Classics learning experience

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:

 Duskweaver wrote:
Did you know pease pudding was originally a Roman dish?

They created a dessert and called it peas.

Oh no, my ignorance is showing, as this one went straight over my head.

its a quote traditionally attributed to a scotish warlord (ok, pictish, in the area of what is now scotland) talking to his troops before a battle in which most die.

"(the romans are) Robbers of the world, having by their universal plunder exhausted the land, they rifle the deep. If the enemy be rich, they are rapacious; if he be poor, they lust for dominion; neither the east nor the west has been able to satisfy them.

Alone among men they covet with equal eagerness poverty and riches. To robbery, slaughter, plunder, they give the lying name of empire; they make a Desert, and call it peace"

as far we know, this is something made up by the romans themselves, but its still a killer line....and the basis of that pun.

Did you hear about the constipated nathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

xerxeskingofking wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:

 Duskweaver wrote:
Did you know pease pudding was originally a Roman dish?

They created a dessert and called it peas.

Oh no, my ignorance is showing, as this one went straight over my head.

its a quote traditionally attributed to a scotish warlord (ok, pictish, in the area of what is now scotland) talking to his troops before a battle in which most die.

"(the romans are) Robbers of the world, having by their universal plunder exhausted the land, they rifle the deep. If the enemy be rich, they are rapacious; if he be poor, they lust for dominion; neither the east nor the west has been able to satisfy them.

Alone among men they covet with equal eagerness poverty and riches. To robbery, slaughter, plunder, they give the lying name of empire; they make a Desert, and call it peace"

as far we know, this is something made up by the romans themselves, but its still a killer line....and the basis of that pun.

Calgacus from Tacitus' Argicola, technically not Pictish either. The Picts are an amalgamation of tribes that formed in 6th - 7th century AD, which is 500 - 600 years later than the campaign described in his writing. Calgacus is merely a Briton from one of the northern tribes (Caledonii). It is almost 100% bollocks and made up, but it's a damn good line all the same. And therefore an even better joke.


Do you want a genuine Roman joke from Macrobius' Saturnalia?

A provincial man arrives in Rome. As he walked the streets, he drew the eyes of the entire city, being a real double of the emperor Augustus.
The emperor, having brought him to the palace, looks him up and down and says "Tell me, young man, did your mother come to Rome anytime?"
The provincial replies, "She was never blessed with coming to this great city. But my father frequently enjoyed visiting."


PS: @xerxes, I was hopefully going for helpful addition and not know it all prick with this reply

Did you hear they flooded a small town in Indiana for a TV show?

Apparently because Stranger Things happen at sea.

It is a shame their are so few images of Mount Rushmore before they carved it.

I'm told its beauty was....unprecedented.

I recently got fired from my job as an interrogator with MI5. I didn't like to ask why.

I dated a girl in college who had one leg that was shorter than the other.

Her name was Eileen.

It's muggy outside. Inside, it's burglary.

I say I say I say!

How did Pharaohs write their name?

Using Heiroglyphs. Duh.

Did you hear about the midget who talks to spirits and is on the run from the police?

She's a small medium at large.

Did you hear that the police arrested two kids? One for drinking battery acid, the other for eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other off.