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Nice video, I never thought of combining the Blues Brothers with 40k.

this is really funny

CARNIFEX TYRANID HISTORY REPORTS!!

Have your tyranids ever been in an accident?

Have they been burned by plasma guns, run over by a land raider redeemer, chopped up by biker nobs, scorched into goo by dark eldar flamers, or otherwise fisted, rended, swept up, or shot to pieces?

What if you couldn't tell the difference? Your tyranids may look fine on the outside, but what about on the inside? Has a crafty previous owner painted over broken pieces, horrible paint jobs, bad greenstuffing, unclipped mold lines, chipped, damaged, bent or warped pieces? Did you get older edition models when you expecting new ones, or a converted lictor using a warrior body and genestealer parts instead of that REAL lictor you always searched for.

Help is here.

Before your buy tyranids come talk to Carnifex! Carnifex tyranid history reports.

Carnifex checks for everything from embedded kroot rifle shot and guass effect evidence to bad conversions and model mistreatment. Don't buy models that are on running on their final days. Get tyranids that you can rely on!

Never buy tyranids without a carnifex tyranid history report!






I got the idea from Carfax Car History Reports! Never buy a car without a carfax car history report.
http://www.carfax.com/

I want to photoshop a carnifex with a top hat and monocle using his scything talons to pick through paperwork on a desk with a little gold sign that says "Carnifex" on the top of the desk. Maybe a potted plant and a bookshelf in the background. Oh, and a pencil holder, with pencils in it... yeah, that would rock.

Gandair wrote:Oh, and a pencil holder, with pencils in it... yeah, that would rock.

I think he should be a Cheeky Rebel and have Pens in his Pencil Holder!

Here's a conversion idea for all those people who want hydras:
http://blacktailfa.deviantart.com/art/The-quot-Yorler-quot-101052861

EDIT: Link used due to image being ridiculously large.

Not sure if that one has been here before....

its been done im afraid.

why is a female SM doing the Caramell dancin?

because it's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Indeed

Still mystified by the bouncing armoured breasts. How is that even possible?

omfg PERV ALERT

I just stated what every 40K male nerd here was thinking

wyomingfox wrote:Still mystified by the bouncing armoured breasts. How is that even possible?

They're not bouncing I checked. You got my hopes up though.


(srsly, they're not)

Where can I get a Carnifex Report?

My Whirwinds fire funny. They can't seem to hit anything and on the off chance they do it's bounced off. My techpriests says everything is running fine and the ammo has been properly blessed but I'm not convinced.

Napalm wrote:Where can I get a Carnifex Report?

My Whirwinds fire funny. They can't seem to hit anything and on the off chance they do it's bounced off. My techpriests says everything is running fine and the ammo has been properly blessed but I'm not convinced.

Since when do SM even use artillery

Edit: In the new dex that is.

HoverBoy wrote:

Napalm wrote:Where can I get a Carnifex Report?

My Whirwinds fire funny. They can't seem to hit anything and on the off chance they do it's bounced off. My techpriests says everything is running fine and the ammo has been properly blessed but I'm not convinced.

Since when do SM even use artillery

When they need to blow up something in dangerous terrain outside LOS?

I felt I had to point this out: this thread is over a year old.

Carry on.

Awesome. Is this the longest-lasting thread on Dakka bar stickies?

It just goes to show, there's something damn funny about all this grimdark?


Even now, somewhere in GW, in a hidden lab, someone is saying "DAMMIT, They are still having too much fun! Add More GRIMDARK!"

chaplaingrabthar wrote:Just because of the oblique references:

There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.

"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

So the guard ordered him arrested and later executed for being in such a boring story.

The end

Fixed to how everyone wishes it went considering how much we all hate it

BaronIveagh wrote:It just goes to show, there's something damn funny about all this grimdark?


Even now, somewhere in GW, in a hidden lab, someone is saying "DAMMIT, They are still having too much fun! Add More GRIMDARK!"

You want GRIMDARK read Codex CSM... sorry couldn't resist

GreyFox555 wrote:Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.

Roll a D100

1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.

I got Officer.

I got Guardsmen (51).

Woo HOO! Commissar!!!!

(96)

Cheese Elemental wrote:Awesome. Is this the longest-lasting thread on Dakka bar stickies?

Then I guess ZandrisIV wins?

14!

I get to be a conscript!!! At least i don't have to clean up after the Ogryn...

the truth and you know it

LOL!