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Thank you for criticism. Ok, so its under priced.

If that lash of submission is too powerful then what if the Blades of Exile and Claws of Hades grant optional skyfire.

Blades of Exile: S-(User), AP5, Rending, +2A (he is capable of 999 hit combos! so why insane amount of hits?), optional Skyfire so he can fight FMC and rend Jets. If it was 30pts would it be undercosted?

Claws of Hades: S- Fleshbane, AP6, +1A, counts as 2 ccw, can choose Skyfire so he can fight FMC. Is 30pts still undercosted?

Thats the point of the Cestus, its ment to be a weaker powerfist but just a bit faster so he pull off combos. Is it undercosted?

Apollo's Bow: 18" S3 AP6 Rending Assault 4, Secondary fire mode 24" S7 AP2 Lance Heavy1 ordinance.

Should the Fleece have a better invul save? Maybe move eternal warrior from free to this upgrade so that he has to pay for it?

I would put the fleece as something worn over the power armour, like a cape of sorts so adds an invul and stuff but doesnt strip away the normal armour.

Skyfire does nothing for CC attacks and thus would be useless on the claws, bear in mind flyers and flying monsterous creatures arent mesnt to be anywhere near as close to the ground as their models suggest, fighting one in CC is next to impossible

Homebrew rule-Sky Fighter-units with this rule can punch stuff that flies thereby ignoring that blasted 2+ jink save.

I can agree with the fleece. It would just be a sigil of corruption then.

OK, issues with Skyfighter:

Does it ground them?
If no, do successful wound require grounding tests
Are they locked in CC?
If yes are they now gliding rather than swooping?
If no can other units assault once he has started the combat? i.e. squads he is in.
Does it remove the minimum required move if the FMC is neither locked nor gliding?
How is he 60ft up fighting?

Here's a rip-off thread I made. Sorry.

 Melcavuk wrote:
OK, issues with Skyfighter:

Does it ground them?
If no, do successful wound require grounding tests
Are they locked in CC?
If yes are they now gliding rather than swooping?
If no can other units assault once he has started the combat? i.e. squads he is in.
Does it remove the minimum required move if the FMC is neither locked nor gliding?
How is he 60ft up fighting?

Good Questions. And yes Kratos can toss his chain swords a ridiculous distance like spider man. 60ft is nothing to him! What if we make a rule where there needs to be terrain taller than him as a launching pad.

What if, successful wounds cause grounding tests. And what if They are locked in combat but the FMC continues to move but the unit with SkyFight latches on to the flyer. And what if the FMC is now gliding? Other assaulting units can enter combat if the FMC is grounded.

For flying vehicles, What if Kratos just latches on and continues to lands hits even while the flyer goes off the board and into ongoing reserves?

The Dark Hunters are the spearhead of the Imperium against Hive Fleet Leviathan (screw the Ultrasmurfs). Their spearhead is the elite 8th Reserve Company, the Knives of Phobian. Leading their charge of glory is the unit's second-in-command, Veteran Sergeant Scotius Favillus, Protector of Gryphonne III.

Point Cost: 305pts
Weapon Skill 5
Ballistic Skill 6
Strength 5
Toughness 5
Wounds 2
Initiative 5
Attacks 2
Leadership 10
Save 3+

Jump Infantry (Character)
Wargear: Combat Shield, Bolt Pistol, Melta Bombs, Relic Blade
Special Rules: Feel No Pain 5+, Furious Charge, Chapter Tactics, And They Shall Know No Fear
Master of Attrition
Favillus' ability with a bolt pistol is almost a sixth sense.
Every bolt pistol in Favillus' squad (including his) has a range of 15".
Bombardier
Favillus, thanks to his unnatural strength, has the ability to throw Melta Bombs.
Favillus can, in the shooting phase, throw a Melta Bomb up to 6". If so, throw one scatter die and one D3 for scatter. If by any chance a member of the squad is caught in the blast, they receive a 4+ cpver save UNLESS there is a better save available.
Prepared
Favillus is prepared for anything, and can protect himself and his squad easily against ordnance.
Members of Favillus' squad receive a 4+ invulnerable save if hit by an ordnance weapon mounted on a vehicle or a super-heavy, eg Demolisher Cannon. Note: the save is only against said ordnance weapons. All other attacks are resolved without this save.
Faith in the Armour
Centurions feel protected when Favillus is around, inspiring them to achieve.
All Assault Centurions receive a 4+ invulnerable save if they are in the same detachment as Veteran Sergeant Favillus.

Upgrades
Centurion
Favillus originally served as a Sergeant in a Centurion Assault Squad.
For 35 points less than Veteran Sergeant Favillus, you can have Sergeant Favillus in Centurion Armour.
Statline
WS 5 BS 6 S 6 T 6 W 3 I 4 A 2 Ld 10 Sv 2+/4++
Wargear: Twin Linked Meltaguns, Hurricane Bolter, Two Siege Drills
Favillus does not have access to Master of Attrition, Bombardier or Prepared. He gains access to:
Look out, Squad!
If a squad is attacked by an ordnance weapon mounted in a vehicle or super heavy, they gain a 4+ invulnerable save FOR THAT TURN ONLY. Note: Look Out, Squad! can be used multiple times, however they can only be activated by ordnance weapons.
Bail Out Men!
When Favillus dies, roll a D6. On a 5+, he jumps out, and his statline returns to normal, however he is only armed with a bolt pistol (which does get Master of Attrition) and a Space Marine CCW. This can only happen once per game.
Spearhead Warfare
All Meltaguns in Favillus' squad, including his, have a range of 15".

I want moar centurion characters

Captain Nikolaus Diatores 200 Points

WS 6 BS 5 S 4 T 4 W 3 I 6 A 3 L 10 Sv 2+/4++

Type: Infantry (Character)

Wargear: Artificer Armor, Bolt Pistol, Iron Halo, Frag and Krak Grenades, Tactician's Edge.

Warlord Trait: Tactical Genius

Tactician's Edge: Captain Diatores wields a powerful blade that can be used in one of three ways, chosen at the start of each assault phase.

S: User + 1 AP: 3 Melee
S: User + 2 AP: 2 Melee, Two Handed
S: User x 2 AP: 2 Melee, Two Handed, Unwieldy

Special Rules: Fearless, Master Tactician, Fighting Retreat, And They Shall Know No Fear, Chapter Tactics, Independent Character.

Master Tactician: You may add or subtract one from any Reserve roll, friend or foe, while Captain Diatores is alive and is the Warlord.

Fighting Retreat: Captain Diatores and any unit within 12 inches of him may opt to fail any morale test they are required to make, automatically regrouping after falling back. Once a unit has successfully regrouped, each model may Snap Fire at the enemy unit that caused the morale test, normal shooting rules apply for range and cover.


Thoughts on the price or special rules?

Diatores: I love Reserve roll manipulation. Fighting Retreat is an interesting scaled-down version of Calgar's "God Of War" rule, with the neat twist that you can snap fire; not sure how to price that, but it's pretty good, at least 10 points per squad affected, and with a 12" range you can probably cover 3-4 squads.

Favillus: Um. I love the idea of a Centurion character. I think you should stick with the Centurion-armored version of him. The unique ability to throw melta bombs, which literally no one else in the game can, seems very strange, and the ability to make weapon ranges longer by sheer... something?.... is also hard to rationalize.

Commander Rotzor

Commander Rotzor lives in the sewers below the headquarter of terran. He was a great commander during his prime time but suddenly disappeared during a celebration of an heroic victory against an invasion of orks, he is still yet to be found...

As time has passed Rotzor has forgotten all kind of human behavior and turned him to a "rat".
Rotzor feeds on rats which has developed his front tooth into huge fangs (which is one of two of his weapons). His other weapon is his giant tail which he use to strangle his victimes with(mostly plumbers).

Rotzors existence is forgotten, probably for the greater good.


Rotzors fighting style is very much alike of a rat. He jumps and initiate the target from behind and rapidly strikes his foe with numerous of bites from his deadly fangs (may be a critical hit) meanwhile he strangles him/her with his tail. That said he is not a "thing" you would like to face in a dark place, alone.


Price cost: 200

Ultra Marines

Ws6 Bs2 S6 T4 W2 I8 A5 LD8 Sv3++

Type: Beast (unique, character)

Warlord trait:

Wargear: Fang and tail (2 close combat weapons)

Special rules: Poison, Fearless, Rat instinct, quickness, fear, infiltrate, Last member of the Rotzor squad, rending, Furious charge.


Rat instinct: In your turn you may vanish from assault phase (before or after you have attacked). On a roll of 5+ you may relocate your model 12" away from your current location.

Quickness: Gives your character 3+ invulnerable save.

Last member of the Rotzor squad: May not join other units.

He's pretty terrifying in melee -- except with W:2, Sv3+, and no charging on the first turn for Infiltrators, he'll probably get shot to death before he ever makes it to CC.

Also, what army/armies would he be for? He seems like he'd have "One Eye Open" with everyone.

I think the rules fit him very well. Maybe I should lower his cost?

My reasoning is that his bolt pistol has a scope, which he can use to direct his units fire as well as his own.

Also, while in service with the Deathwatch, he arm-wrestled an Ork Warboss. He eventually lost after two hours (he realized the Warboss would probably kill him if the Warboss lost). In the end he killed the Warboss, but he came back to the Watch-fortress unusually strong.

Logic!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Also I did forget, I might not have clarified that he only boosts the range of bolt pistols. Nothing else.

Working on a homebrew Renegade Chapter of Astartes that thinks they worship a Divine "Creator" instead of the Emperor but actually unknowingly serve the Void Dragon. ( I'm calling them the Storm Dragons)

Here's the character I made up for them, he's expensive (imperial knight price) but he probably deserves the hefty price tag
Marech the Protector- Point cost- 375.
WS6 BS5 T5 S4 W4 I4 A4 LD10 3+2+
Independent Character, Eternal Warrior, Relentless, Deep Strike,
Holy Purpose (can confer Deep Strike to a non-deepstike unit and may charge the turn they arrive ignoring the Deep Strike Reserves Rule. You can roll for his reserves on turn 1 on a 3+ and his unit automatically comes in at the beginning of turn 2 if he does not come on turn 1)
The Unrighteous Turn Away!( units firing overwatch against Marech and his unit must make a leadership test first before firing if they fail they count as being blinded)

Wargear Armor of Righteousness: confers 2+ invul save and a 3+ Deny the witch.
Sword of Truth (+2S/+1I against regular enemy models; +4S/+2I against chaos or psykers) AP2
Dragon Fang Pattern Heavy Bolter (one hand) S5 ap4 Heavy 3 Ingores Cover, Assault


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Our lost brethren fight in the name of their dead emperor who shall never rise again, but we fight in the name of our eternal Creator who shall never fall.
How can we not succeed?

-Marech the Protector

Well, it's not often that we see a character that is so completely and utterly broken, Doom. This is a joke chapter, right?

Well if it makes it any better, the chapter would be desperate allies with EVERYONE. lol. Yeah, pretty much a joke chapter. Maybe I'll post it later to see how much everyone hates it.

 DoomShakaLaka wrote:
Well if it makes it any better, the chapter would be desperate allies with EVERYONE. lol. Yeah, pretty much a joke chapter. Maybe I'll post it later to see how much everyone hates it.

It's not a very funny joke. It's one that shows up regularly though not in the volume you put. I mean, it is your standard 2+ invul, Eternal Warrior, assault from turn 1, I WIN ALL THE TIME AT EVERYTHING character. Complete with an assault heavy bolter, inflated stats and a weapon that I'm sure is AP2 and probably Instant Death/Armorbane.

His cost does not justify it. Nor does the allies thing.

Well the whole can arrive from deepstrike thing turn one and assaulting from deepstrike could be removed, as well as the heavy bolter if that would make it better. The sword was supposed to ap2 but it could drop to ap3 etc. I'd still keep the 375 price though.

How's that sound?


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh, and the 2+ invul dropped to 3+

And the 2+ invul.

The problem I'm seeing is that you are cherry picking the best and most insane rules you can and throwing them all together. It's just the usual "I want to win at everything and never die" character that is just plain boring.

I'd suggest you go back to the basics. Start him as a generic chapter master and build up one piece or rule at a time. Before you move on to the next additional rule or item, ask yourself what the theme is, and what the cost of the upgrade is. And keep in mind that most special character Space Marines are nowhere near as full of special unique things as your guy. He is special, not insane.

Well maybe I should stay away from the whole rule writing thing and just stick to writing the story of my chapter. Again, sorry to mess up this thread with my nonsense.

 DoomShakaLaka wrote:
Well maybe I should stay away from the whole rule writing thing and just stick to writing the story of my chapter. Again, sorry to mess up this thread with my nonsense.

I wouldn't get too wrapped up about it. It's a very common mistake made by someone first trying it out. Hell, I did it back in the day too, and I can guarantee that most of the veterans here have done so as well.

It's fun to make rules, and it is a good exercise, but it's all about building to an idea, not just pushing the limits of how good something can be and have people accept it.

I would guarantee that this thread is about 50% "Hey Guyz I got a great idea for an awesome 200 point Marine that can go toe to toe with a Gargant and win!", 25% "Silly Big Ork Boss with randomization everywhere! (and BS3)" and only the last 25% for all the balanced, thematic stuff.

Well this specific topic is a matter of opinion. It's called YOUR own unique characters in 40k. It's the place you post your brilliant ideas, however broken they may be. DoomShakaLaka can make whatever broken character he likes. You don't have to face the character so what do you care?

 FavilleGamingAndTCG wrote:
Well this specific topic is a matter of opinion. It's called YOUR own unique characters in 40k. It's the place you post your brilliant ideas, however broken they may be. DoomShakaLaka can make whatever broken character he likes. You don't have to face the character so what do you care?

And it is posted on a public forum for the discussion of new character rules and rule sets. Look at the very first post in this thread, bud:

"Feel free to contribute characters or to suggest changes if you disagree with anything"

So yes, as part of discussion saying what is not working or broken is part of this. Sorry to rain on the righteousness parade.

Eh. One guy's gonna have fun posting his superpowered Mehrine character, another's gonna have fun poking holes in the balance, another's gonna have fun trying to keep the character's ideas without overpowering him. It takes all kinds, really.

 curran12 wrote:

 FavilleGamingAndTCG wrote:
Well this specific topic is a matter of opinion. It's called YOUR own unique characters in 40k. It's the place you post your brilliant ideas, however broken they may be. DoomShakaLaka can make whatever broken character he likes. You don't have to face the character so what do you care?

And it is posted on a public forum for the discussion of new character rules and rule sets. Look at the very first post in this thread, bud:

"Feel free to contribute characters or to suggest changes if you disagree with anything"

So yes, as part of discussion saying what is not working or broken is part of this. Sorry to rain on the righteousness parade.

And actually I appreciate the advice because I've only been gaming for a couple of years now and not even that often during that time.
So heres a second go at Marech the Protector.
WS 6 BS 5 T4 S 4W 4 I 4 A 4 3+3+
Deepstrike, Fleet, Independent Character, The Unrighteous Turn Away!(Blinds during overwatch if enemy fails initiative test) Hatred: Inquisition

Wargear:
Sword of truth: x2 s, two hands, ap2, unwiledly mastercrafted.
Armor of Righteousness: 3 + invul save and +1 T
CM(120) +Storm Shield(15) + Thunder Hammer equiv(30)+ mastercrafted +(10) Deepstrike + (Hatred) 5+ Blind ability10 + fleet 10 = 210 what do you think? Any Better?

That's much better. And very much in line with something I could see playing with. Nice job.

The only question I have is your reasoning for an Ld test for the blind thing. I ask because generally Blind tests are taken as an Initiative test to represent how fast they can look away. Can you explain that just so I can wrap my head around it?

 curran12 wrote:
That's much better. And very much in line with something I could see playing with. Nice job.

The only question I have is your reasoning for an Ld test for the blind thing. I ask because generally Blind tests are taken as an Initiative test to represent how fast they can look away. Can you explain that just so I can wrap my head around it?

I just figured a ld test would be less op, but what your saying makes more sense. I'll edit it in.

Here's another one from me, Sternguard Captain style. I really wish GW would implement something like this.


Commander Perth 175 Points

WS5 BS6 T4 S4 W3 I5 A3 LD10 2+/4++

Wargear: Pellentos, Bolt Pistol, Artificer Armor, Iron Halo, Frag and Krak Grenades, Special Issue Ammo.

Pellentos: Pellentos is a Master Crafted Boltgun with the Rending special rule.

Special Rules: Independent Character, And They Shall Know No Fear, Chapter Tactics, Move Through Cover, Stealth, Shrouded, Company of Marksmen, Sniper's Eye, Hipfire.

Company of Marksmen: Instead of a Command Squad, Commander Perth allows a single model in a Sternguard Veteran Squad to be upgraded to an Apothecary for 20 points, a different model in that same squad may be nominated to carry a Standard of the Storm, which gives all models in the squad Preferred Enemy for 20 Points, while another model in the squad may be upgraded to a Sternguard Champion, increasing his BS by 1, for 10 points. Upgraded models retain their original wargear, but with the exception of the Champion, may not take any additional upgrades.

Sniper's Eye: If Commander Perth remains stationary, he increases the maximum range of any type of ammo fired from his bolter by 6 inches, in addition, he gains the Precision Shot special rule for that shooting phase.

Hipfire: Instead of his normal close combat attacks, Commander Perth may use the S and AP value of a Special Issue Ammo type of his choosing for all of his attacks. Note that this is still considered a melee attack, and thus still counts as WS5 as normal. Also, rolls to hit of 1 while using Vengeance Rounds are still subject to the Get's Hot! rule.